I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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