1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
