I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
