Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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