we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
