I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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