never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
