I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
