Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Screwed.edu
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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