In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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