I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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