i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i will never coherently bang her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
