You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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