i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
