Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
