You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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