Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
