sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
