You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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