I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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