He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
