i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
