I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
