Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a hot homeless man
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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