fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
