I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize