I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
