Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
