she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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