Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
