just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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