can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize