Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
