I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
