I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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