every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
