My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
