you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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