I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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