Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
