Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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