The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
