I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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