love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
