Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize