Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
