i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
