I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize