You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
we should paint friendship bongs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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