what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
