That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
