my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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