Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
