I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
