the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize