I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
