2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
