i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We talked him into tasing himself.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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