i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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