You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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