I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
