If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize