even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
